One of the most common questions I see people ask online is is:“Why did SSP make me feel worse?”
Sometimes someone feels more anxious after listening.
Sometimes they’re more emotional.
Sometimes they’re irritable, restless, tired, or simply don’t feel like themselves.
And understandably, when that happens, the first assumption is often:“Something has gone wrong.”
But after supporting likely over a thousand SSP journeys, I’ve learned that nervous systems are rarely that simple.
When someone tells me they’re feeling worse, I don’t automatically assume SSP is the problem.
I also know they absolutely should not push through - that is when things are likely to get really uncomfortable.
What I do, is get curious.
Because in my experience, dysregulation is often information.The question isn’t:“How do we get rid of this?” The question is:“What is this nervous system trying to tell us?”
One of the biggest misconceptions about SSP is that there is a “normal” amount to listen.
There isn’t.
I’ve worked with people who listened for pretty long stretches most days and did beautifully.
I’ve also worked with people whose nervous systems initially wanted 5-10 seconds at a time.
Neither person was doing SSP incorrectly. They simply had different nervous systems. In fact, I don’t think the goal is to find the “right” listening amount. The nervous system is alive. It changes.
What feels supportive today may feel like too much tomorrow.
What felt overwhelming last month may feel easy six weeks later.
What works beautifully during a calm period may feel completely different during a stressful week.
Most importantly, the filtering changes from one hour of SSP Core to the next. As a result, each hour tends to land differently in the nervous system. For most people, this means they may need to move more slowly through some hours and may be able to move more quickly through others.
This is why I don’t believe SSP should be delivered according to a rigid formula or by guessing at listening increments.
Instead, I teach clients how to ask their body how much listening it wants on a particular day and how to recognize the answer. I teach the same approach to providers in my Advanced SSP training and in either group or individual consultations.
When we ask the body, we don't have to be smart. And as a bonus, the body doesn't care what the theory is, how long someone else is able to listen for each time, how long the process will take, or anything else.
The body just knows what is right for it.
And when we know how to ask - and how to listen - the process becomes much easier, smoother, gentler and more effective.
This is one of the most important concepts to understand about SSP.
SSP is designed to send cues of safety to the nervous system.
Doesn't that sound wonderful? It is wonderful!
But what happens if safety is unfamiliar?
For many people, especially those who have experienced trauma, chronic stress, illness, neurodivergence, caregiving responsibilities, or years of simply surviving, tension and anxiety becomes familiar.
Safety feels unsafe.
Not because safety is dangerous. Rather, because the nervous system often gravitates toward what feels familiar before it learns to trust something new.
Sometimes this creates a counter-constriction in the nervous system. It responds by tightening back up again.
This often looks like temporarily increased anxiety, agitation, restlessness, irritability, difficulty settling, sound senstivity, trouble sleeping, or a feeling that something isn’t quite right.
When this happens, I don’t necessarily assume SSP is causing harm. Instead, I become curious about what support might help safety feel safer.
One of the things I wish more people understood is that dysregulation doesn’t necessarily mean SSP is a bad fit for them.
In my experience, most people don’t become dysregulated because SSP is inherently too much for them. More often, the listening amount, pacing, timing, level of support, co-regulation or surrounding conditions aren’t yet matched to what their nervous system needs.
This is an important distinction.
If someone develops a headache from wearing a new pair of glasses, we don’t automatically conclude that vision correction isn’t right for them, or that glasses are bad or dangerous. We adjust the prescription.
We figure out what their system needs.
I tend to view SSP in a similar way. The question isn’t usually whether SSP can work. The question is how this particular nervous system wants SSP delivered.
Another possibility is that SSP increases awareness.
Many of us spend years disconnected from our bodies without realizing it.
We push through fatigue.
We ignore tension.
We disconnect from emotions.
We focus on getting through the day.
As nervous system regulation improves, people sometimes become more aware of sensations, emotions, needs, or stressors that were already present.
That awareness can initially feel uncomfortable. Imagine driving with your car radio turned up so loudly that you can’t hear an unusual noise in the engine. Turning down the radio doesn’t create the noise. It simply allows you to notice it.
Similarly, SSP doesn’t necessarily create every sensation, emotion, or challenge that emerges. Sometimes it helps us become aware of experiences that were already there.
One thing I always encourage people to remember is that not everything that happens during SSP is caused by SSP.
SSP doesn't occur within a vacuum.
Life continues.
Relationships remain complicated.
Work remains stressful.
Children still have needs.
Bodies still get sick.
Unexpected challenges still arise.Sometimes SSP is happening in the middle of one of the most stressful periods of a person’s life.
That doesn’t mean we ignore changes that occur during listening.It simply means we remain curious about all of the factors that may be contributing.
Many people assume the answer is simply to push through. Unfortunately when people do that, that is when things can get quite uncomfortable for some people.
That discomfort will be temporary but it's not something I want people to experience - especifcally since it's completely unnecessary.
The nervous system tends to respond better when we work with it rather than against it.
Sometimes that means shorter listening sessions.
Sometimes it means taking a pause.
Sometimes it means reducing the volume.
Sometimes it means listening less often.
But there are many other possibilities as well. Increasing co-regulation can make a tremendous difference. Some people do better listening while connected with a trusted person.
Others benefit from spending time with a pet before or after listening.
Slow, gentle movement can also be surprisingly powerful. Slow walking, stretching, rocking, or other gentle forms of movement during or after listening can help the nervous system integrate the experience more smoothly.
Sometimes the answer isn’t less SSP. Sometimes the answer is more support around SSP.
Most importantly, the answer comes from listening to the nervous system rather than forcing it.
If you are working with a provider who has done my Advanced SSP Training, the Mini Reset I discovered can also be extremely powerful in helping dysregulation to settle almost instantly - very often literally within seconds. Very often this is then followed by a noticeable burst of improvement.
I think one of the biggest misunderstandings about SSP is the belief that success means tolerating as much discomfort as possible.
That’s the very opposite of what we want to do.
We can't heal trauma physiology by overriding the nervous system - that is what happens during times of trauma.
When someone feels worse, I don’t see that as failure. I see it as feedback. Whether changes are improvement or dysrgulation it's actually something I get excited about.
Why? Because it tells us that that person's nervous system is noticing that there is something very different about this music.
It basically tells us that what we are on the right track - we just need to adjust things a bit to help things to be more gentle.
The nervous system is always communicating.
Our job is to learn how to listen.
After supporting likely over a thousand SSP journeys, I’ve become less interested in protocols and more interested in physiology.
The question isn’t whether someone is doing SSP correctly.
The question is:“What is this nervous system asking for right now?”
When we learn to listen to that answer, SSP becomes gentler, easier, and more effective.
If you’re feeling worse after SSP, try not to assume something has gone wrong.
Don’t assume SSP has failed.
Get curious.
Listen to your body.
Increase support if needed.
And remember that what feels like a setback is often valuable information that can help guide the next step forward.